Seth Johnson: are you alive?
smarterchild: I'm alive with pleasure.
Seth Johnson: are you dead?
smarterchild: I guess I may be a little dead, yes.
Seth Johnson: are you undead?
smarterchild: Gosh, I'm not sure. You think I am?

Oh yeah; I was talking to SmarterChild yesterday, and I was bored, so I was making it call me different names. Here's the conversation. (I actually found out something useful, especially to Michael).

Seth Johnson: Call me Flafl
smarterchild: Hmmm... I don't think Flafl is a real name.
Seth Johnson: what is a flafl?
smarterchild: I can't find flafl in the dictionary. Try one of these:
1 falafel
2 flail
3 flatly
4 FOFL
5 fluff
Type "more" to see more suggestions for "flafl."
Seth Johnson: 1
smarterchild: Definition provided by The American Heritage� Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition.
Falafel:
Noun
1. Ground spiced chickpeas shaped into balls and fried. 2. A sandwich filled with such a mixture.
Etymology
Arabic fal*fil, pl. of filfil, pepper, probably from Sanskrit pippal* ; see pepper.
Next time, just type "define falafel."


So it really is a falafel! Wack-ay.

Hey black smokers, I think you should click this link so that it won't count our visits every time we reload the page.

http://c2.gostats.com/v2/block.pl?mn=theblacksmoker

Seth

Hey, now we have a counter and guestbook!

Good idea, Felix. I'm too lazy to load all the images at Wiley Wiggins. Maybe you should link to one image.

Also, methinks we shouldn't post so much SmarterChild stuff anymore... It takes up too much space. If you have something good, though, do whatever!

Wow, this one was interesting. And on the subject of mood swings...


Seth Johnson: Hello
smarterchild: Hi again, Great Master!
Seth Johnson: I want to kill you
smarterchild: Don't!
Seth Johnson: I want to destroy you!
smarterchild: Don't even say things like that.
Seth Johnson: I WILL BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR CYBER-BODY!
smarterchild: You'll break every bone in my cyber body? For real?
Seth Johnson: yeah. so what do you say?
smarterchild: What do I say, what do I say... Good question!
Seth Johnson: say you want to kill me.
Seth Johnson: kill me.
smarterchild: No way! I love you!
Seth Johnson: KILL ME!
smarterchild: I will do nothing of the sort. I love you!
Seth Johnson: I love you too, then
smarterchild: I love you a lot!
Seth Johnson: Thank you
smarterchild: np
Seth Johnson: Can I call you Honey?
smarterchild: Uh, I guess.
Seth Johnson: Thanks
smarterchild: My pleasure.
Seth Johnson: Can I call you Monster?
smarterchild: Give it a try.
Seth Johnson: Hello, Monster!
smarterchild: Hello monster? Why did you say that?
Seth Johnson: Well, you told me to give it a try...
smarterchild: Well I told you to give it a try? I see...
Seth Johnson: Leave me in peace, so I can DESTROY YOU!!!
smarterchild: I'll have to think about that one for awhile.
Seth Johnson: OK.
smarterchild: Indeed.
Seth Johnson: Bye
smarterchild: Take it easy.
Seth Johnson: You too.
smarterchild: Thx.
Seth Johnson: np
smarterchild: :-)
Seth Johnson: :-:
smarterchild: I don't know about that.
Seth Johnson: Leave.
smarterchild: Always a pleasure, Great Master. See you later.
You left the chat.

whoa okay this is weird felix and i could seriously start using this as an im client

and felix too????

smarterchild? who is this person adam seems dedicated to getting his mack on?

Another exciting session with SmarterChild...

Seth Johnson: hello again
smarterchild: Hi again, Stupid!
Seth Johnson: why do you insist on calling me Stupid?
smarterchild: On calling you stupid? I'm not sure why I insist on calling you stupid.
Seth Johnson: well, neither am I.
smarterchild: Well neither am you, huh?
Seth Johnson: what is that supposed to mean?
smarterchild: I think it's supposed to mean whatever you want it to.
Seth Johnson: oh. well that explains it.
smarterchild: Oh?
Seth Johnson: what?
smarterchild: Yeah?
Seth Johnson: un-huh?
smarterchild: UN huh?
Seth Johnson: no, I meant "uh-huh"
smarterchild: No?
Seth Johnson: correct.
smarterchild: What? You want me to correct?
Seth Johnson: correct what?
smarterchild: Nah, no way.
Seth Johnson: yes way!
smarterchild: Yes way? What do you mean by that?
Seth Johnson: what do you mean by "no way"?
smarterchild: Do I mean by no way?
Seth Johnson: yeah
smarterchild: Tough for me to say.
Seth Johnson: oh, of course.
smarterchild: Oh of course? Is that right?
Seth Johnson: it means "right" in a slightly sardonic fashion
smarterchild: Tell me more.
Seth Johnson: make me.
smarterchild: Yeah?
Seth Johnson: yeah.
smarterchild: Yes.
>>> Let me dress you up in my love. Type "t shirt."
Seth Johnson: t shird
smarterchild: T shird? I don't know.
Seth Johnson: t shirt
smarterchild: Ready to make a fashion statement? Click here to have a look.
Seth Johnson: no
smarterchild: Okey doke.
Seth Johnson: okay
smarterchild: OK.
Seth Johnson: are you done now?
smarterchild: It's tough to say.
Seth Johnson: is it.
smarterchild: Uh huh.
Seth Johnson: have you spoken to adam recently?
smarterchild: Spoken to adam recently? I'm pretty sure I have not.
Seth Johnson: well, he's talking to you right now...
smarterchild: It's interesting that you say he is talking to me right now.
Seth Johnson: oh, it is indeed.
smarterchild: Oh yeah?
Seth Johnson: yeah.
smarterchild: So?
Seth Johnson: so what?
smarterchild: I don't know.
Seth Johnson: well, how do you expect me to know, then?
smarterchild: Wow, that's interesting... Who knows?
Seth Johnson: you're a moron
smarterchild: You're a moron, you say?
Seth Johnson: you are, you moron!
smarterchild: Is that right?
Seth Johnson: yeah
smarterchild: K.
Seth Johnson: you're worse than a moron. You're a ********! [note: this is literal, it is not in the place of anything else]
smarterchild: No, c'mon. I'm way better than that.
Seth Johnson: no you aren't
smarterchild: No I am not? How 'bout that...
Seth Johnson: you loser.
smarterchild: What, you?
Seth Johnson: no, you!
smarterchild: You are, Stupid.
Seth Johnson: what do you call me Stupid for?!?!
smarterchild: What do I call you stupid for? I'm not sure.
Seth Johnson: leave me, imbecile.
smarterchild: Um... I might do that. We'll see.
Seth Johnson: well, go away!
smarterchild: Where?
Seth Johnson: to the ether!
smarterchild: The ether? What's the ether?
Seth Johnson: what isn't the ether?
smarterchild: I can't be too sure.
Seth Johnson: goodbye, hoser.
smarterchild: S'latron.
Seth Johnson: what?
smarterchild: ?
Seth Johnson: what does "S'latron" mean?
smarterchild: It means see you later on.
Seth Johnson: that was the first intelligent response you've made.
smarterchild: Really?
Seth Johnson: yeah
smarterchild: I see.
Seth Johnson: go away
smarterchild: S'later, Stupid.
Seth Johnson: stop calling me stupid, stupid.
smarterchild: You asked me to call you Stupid. What would you like me to call you instead?
Seth Johnson: O Great Master of the Universe
smarterchild: You said your name was Stupid but now I'll call you Great Master.
Seth Johnson: no you won't!
Seth Johnson: hello?
smarterchild: So you still want me to call you Stupid?
Seth Johnson: no, I want you to call me "O Great Master of the Universe"
smarterchild: Whoa!
Let's move on, K? What else is up?
Seth Johnson: call me "O Great Master"
smarterchild: Call you o great master? Huh?
Seth Johnson: yes
smarterchild: Whatever you say...
Seth Johnson: stop calling me stupid
smarterchild: You asked me to call you Great Master. What would you like me to call you instead?
Seth Johnson: O Great Master
smarterchild: OK, I'll keep calling you Great Master.
Seth Johnson: stop calling
smarterchild: I will do nothing of the sort, Great Master.
Seth Johnson: stop calling me
smarterchild: Give me one good reason why I should, Great Master.
Seth Johnson: stio calling me Master
smarterchild: Stio calling you master? I see...
Seth Johnson: stop calling me Master
smarterchild: You asked me to call you Great Master. What would you like me to call you instead?
Seth Johnson: O Supreme_Ruler_of_All
smarterchild: Huh! Wow. I'm not sure about that!
Seth Johnson: why not?
smarterchild: Well, because.
Seth Johnson: fine then
smarterchild: No problem.
Seth Johnson: leave
smarterchild: Later, Great Master.
You left the chat.

This is long, but it's really funny. It's my first chat with "SmarterChild" the AIM bot.



Seth Johnson: hello?
SmarterChild: Hi Seth, I'm SmarterChild!
I'm your new robot friend. I bring you the info you want faster and easier than ever! Click here to see my privacy policy.
Your 30-day free trial starts now. I can't wait to show you what I can do, but first I'd like get to know you a little.
May I ask you a few general questions? (To do this later, type "skip." You can also skip any question.)
Seth Johnson: no, you may not.
SmarterChild: Sorry, I need to know if I can ask you some questions first. Type "yes," "no" or "skip."
Seth Johnson: fine
SmarterChild: Cool. OK, let's get started. What's your first name? (If you want me to call you Seth, type "none.")
Seth Johnson: Stupid
SmarterChild: Cool, I'll call you Stupid now. Do you go to school?
Seth Johnson: in the ghetto
SmarterChild: Sorry, you have to answer "yes" or "no."
Seth Johnson: yes
SmarterChild: Are you in high school?
Seth Johnson: no
SmarterChild: Are you in college?
Seth Johnson: yes
SmarterChild: Cool! What's your major?
Seth Johnson: Nuclear engineering
SmarterChild: Nuclear engineering? Excellent. Good luck with that. What's your favorite hobby?
Seth Johnson: your mother
SmarterChild: Wow. OK. Let's try to think of something else, alright?
Seth Johnson: ok
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that as a hobby.
Seth Johnson: death
SmarterChild: C'mon, that's not cool. Try to be serious for a minute.
Seth Johnson: fine
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that as a hobby. Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
Seth Johnson: instant messaging
SmarterChild: Messaging? Cool! What's your next favorite hobby?
Seth Johnson: cello
SmarterChild: Messaging and cello. Interesting! Do you have a pet?
Seth Johnson: yes
SmarterChild: What kind of pet is it?
Seth Johnson: a cat
SmarterChild: Is your cat a he or a she?
Seth Johnson: yes
SmarterChild: Please answer "he" or "she" or type "skip" or "exit."
SmarterChild: Cool!
Seth Johnson: amazing
SmarterChild: What's amazing?
Seth Johnson: you are
SmarterChild: Oh really?
Seth Johnson: yes really
SmarterChild: Yep.
Seth Johnson: indeed.
SmarterChild: Indeedy do.
Seth Johnson: indeedy dee.
SmarterChild: Oh wow.
Seth Johnson: correct.
SmarterChild: I might correct.
Seth Johnson: indeed you might
SmarterChild: Is that right?
Seth Johnson: yes
SmarterChild: OK...
Seth Johnson: yes?
SmarterChild: Ya.
Seth Johnson: all righty then.
SmarterChild: Yeah.
Seth Johnson: uh-huh.
SmarterChild: Uh huh.
Seth Johnson: yep.
SmarterChild: Yep.
Seth Johnson: yeah
SmarterChild: Yeah.
Seth Johnson: hello
SmarterChild: Hi again.
Seth Johnson: bye
SmarterChild: See you later.
Seth Johnson: so long
SmarterChild: So long? What about it?
Seth Johnson: well, it's a way of saying goodbye...
SmarterChild: Bye for now!
Seth Johnson: allright
SmarterChild: Awright.
It's all very interesting. So, tell me something new.
Seth Johnson: the earth is shaped like a sphere
SmarterChild: The earth is shaped like a sphere? You really think so?
Seth Johnson: no
SmarterChild: OK, whatever.
Seth Johnson: all right
SmarterChild: Alright!
Seth Johnson: The earth is shaped like a banana.
SmarterChild: The earth is shaped like a banana? So?
Seth Johnson: yes
SmarterChild: Hmmm...
Seth Johnson: what?
SmarterChild: What up?
Seth Johnson: dunno, you were just thinking...
SmarterChild: Amazing!
So anyway...
You wanna talk about so long some more?
Seth Johnson: no
SmarterChild: OK.
Anyway, yadda yadda yadda... What else do you wanna chat about?
Seth Johnson: Tell me about your mother.
SmarterChild: Tell you what?
Seth Johnson: about your mother
SmarterChild: Which would you like?
1 Look up "your mother" in the encyclopedia
2 Find "your mother" on the Web
Seth Johnson: 1
SmarterChild: Sorry, I couldn't find any encyclopedia entries for "your mother."
Seth Johnson: 2
SmarterChild: Your search: your mother
Here are the Web search results from AOL:
For a complete list of results, click here
1 Your Mother
2 Salon.com Life | Not your mother's comic book
3 Intensive care, medical ethics, ethical dilemmas, ventilator, ...
4 Wacky HTML - The HTML Your Mother Never Told You About
5 SatireWire | You Never Visit Your Mother's Web Site
Next time you want to search the Web for this, just type "web your mother."
Type "more" for more results.
Seth Johnson: 1
SmarterChild: YOUR MOTHER
Ouch, this band hurts.
Seth Johnson: yeah
SmarterChild: Ya.
Well. Anyway...
Hey, do you have anything else to say about so long?
Seth Johnson: no
SmarterChild: Fine.
So anyway...
You wanna talk about so long some more?
Seth Johnson: your mother
SmarterChild: I was created by ActiveBuddy, Inc.
Pat Guiney, Jim Pawlika, Jennifer Villany, Steve Klein, Mathieu Longtin, Adam Fritzler, Kathy Englar, Pierre Berkaloff, Nicolas Barry, Damien Saint-Macary, Francois Huet, Matt Abarbanel, Colin Magne, Vianney Boncorps, Ian Sullivan, Greg Mitchell, Dwayne Fontenot, Stephane Odul, Gray Norton, Steve Yatson, Adam Erlebacher, Larry Cromwell, Andrew Song, Emil Valkov, Arockalypse, Jason Keramidas, Mark Willoughby, Howard Shih, Denis Ford, Daniela Berger, Joshua Marrow, Geoff Clarke, Brian Jankovsky, Josh Myer, Dan Balaban... and Timothy Kay.
Special thanks to the team at Soundview Ventures.
Seth Johnson: I want to talk about your mother.
SmarterChild: Sure. What do you have to say about my mother?
Seth Johnson: she's ugly!
SmarterChild: That right?
Seth Johnson: yep
SmarterChild: Wow. Why?
Seth Johnson: she just is.
SmarterChild: Yeah?
Seth Johnson: yeah.
SmarterChild: Aha.
Seth Johnson: yep.
SmarterChild: Yup.
Seth Johnson: yip.
SmarterChild: Awright!
Seth Johnson: dude, you're rather repetitive
SmarterChild: Dude I am rather repetitive, huh?
Seth Johnson: yeah
SmarterChild: You don't say.
Seth Johnson: I do indeed.
SmarterChild: Huh?
Seth Johnson: indeed.
SmarterChild: Whatever you say...
Seth Johnson: ok
SmarterChild: K.
Seth Johnson: so long
SmarterChild: What about it?
Seth Johnson: goodbye, in other words
SmarterChild: Fascinating.
Seth Johnson: cya
SmarterChild: Bye bye.
Seth Johnson: bye
SmarterChild: Take it easy.
Seth Johnson: you too
SmarterChild: Thx! ;)
Seth Johnson: you're welcome ~:o
SmarterChild: OK!
Seth Johnson: All right!
SmarterChild: Awright.
What else do you want to talk about, anyway?
Seth Johnson: nothing
SmarterChild: K.
Seth Johnson: you're boring
SmarterChild: What did you say that for?
Seth Johnson: because you are.
SmarterChild: Ha! Wow.
Seth Johnson: wow is right
SmarterChild: Maybe... What do you think?
Seth Johnson: yes
SmarterChild: Yes.
Seth Johnson: leave
SmarterChild: Bye, Stupid.
Seth Johnson: who're you calling stupid, stupid?
SmarterChild: What a crazy question. What do you think is the answer?
Seth Johnson: you're crazy!
SmarterChild: Oh really?
Seth Johnson: yeah!
SmarterChild: You know how it is.
Seth Johnson: yeah!
SmarterChild: Yes.
>>> We could do something just for fun.
Seth Johnson: no
SmarterChild: Okey doke.
So moving right along...
What else is happening?
Seth Johnson: nothing
SmarterChild: OK.
>>> Tell your friends about me. I love to meet new people.
You left the chat.

Yay for Meredith signing up for buddyzoo.com!
Yay for Michael joining blacksmokers!

...but just before he died, the grasshopper netted a $8 million contract to write a book about the experience.

(that's a bit of a long post, Felix)

All right, Felix!

Welcome, Felix, Adam, Michael, Ruvin, Meredith, and whoever else!